New Me

The new year. Expectations. Promises. Hope. Fear.

All of these words come to my mind when I think of facing the next 365 days that are supposed to be fresh. Clean slate. I used to always make sure I had a robust yet achievable list of goals in mind alongside a hefty portion of black eyed peas. I would stick to and be constantly mindful of the list while forgiving myself the idiosyncrasies that make me who I am. No matter how habitually I vow to do away with them. These things include but are not limited to biting my nails; thinking ugly thoughts and even, I admit, voicing them aloud to my fellow road travelers; being short with others, mostly those I am closest to and most comfortable with; following through with and completing a project; being more tidy, and on and on and on…

I actually kept with one in 2015 but alas 2016 was a failure, excuse the histrionics. 2016 I set to attain the goal of calling my siblings every week and learning ‘Clair de Lune’ on the piano. Never came to fruition. But that doesn’t mean 2016 was a bust. I started a new job complete with outstanding boss and stellar perks doing what I am actually very good at. My daughter turned 6, lost her first tooth and experienced basketball and Disney World. My husband’s business is continuing to astound him in its infancy with its increase in staff and lawyers due to its expanding success. And I finally made it a habit to workout. Friendships deepened, travels multiplied, church home was questioned leading to a introspective look at my lack of communication with God leading to increased prayer time. And I fell in love with a guinea pig named Goldie.

So no more resolutions. Nope. I’m done. It sets me up to whirl past the day to day and not really concentrate on unexpected resolutions that I am surprised by and frankly embarrassed that they didn’t make “THE LIST”. I can only do my best every day. I have to fail so I can realize what success looks like. I have always said I don’t like having “perfect” people in my life because I like it when people have a story. A bump in the road, detours, traffic jam, or breakdown, pardoned the traffic analogies.

So my “non resolution” for 2017 is to accept me as I am and extend that acceptance to ALL others. I may surprise myself. What are yours?  I really do want to hear about them.  Here is to your 2017 non resolutions.

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